The Network of Cross-border mediators provides information about the possibilities and limits of mediation at no cost or obligation for individual cases. It can aid in initiating an international co-mediation. If a family conflict involves an international element, the Network members can offer a creative solution that deals with problems that do not arise in national family conflicts.

When to use a crossborder mediator?

1. When your child is taken abroad

“This summer, my wife went to visit her parents in Italy. She took our 5-year old son Jason with her to visit his grandparents. She wanted to stay there for a whole month and I couldn’t join her because of my work. But I didn’t mind, I know how much she misses her family when she’s in Austria. At the end of August, she called me saying that she would extend her vacation and stay another month. I was quite upset at first, Jason had to go to school in September, but finally I agreed. Now, 4 months later, she is still in Italy. Yesterday, I skyped with Jason and he told me that he goes to school in Firenze now. Finally, my wife confessed that she has no intention of ever coming back. I know that our relationship wasn’t always perfect and living in Austria wasn’t always easy for her, but she can’t just run away with Jason like that I need someone to talk some sense into her.”

2. When you want to move abroad

“My marriage broke down 4 years ago. Although my ex-wife and I couldn’t agree on much, we had one common concern: our two girls. We wanted to spare them the pain of a messy divorce. They’re 8 and 11 now, and I can proudly say that they have a good relationship with both their parents.

Two years ago I met a Norwegian woman at a conference abroad. At the time, we both thought this was just a fling, but we are still together.

Now she asked me to move in with her in Lillehammer and although I would really like to, my two girls make me hesitate. I won’t be able to have them with me every other weekend and I’m not sure their mother will let them travel to Norway on a regular basis. How do we organize these long distance visits? And what if my ex-wife refuses all contact between me and the girls once I’ve left? We need the help of a professional to make clear arrangements before I can decide on moving abroad.”

3. When you fear an abduction by the other parent

“I know my husband sacrificed a lot when he agreed to move to Ireland and leave behind his family and friends in Malta. And I am really grateful for that. But lately, I’m getting worried. Since he lost his job, he’s a bit lost here in Cork. Most of the day he’s at home, chatting on the internet and that makes him even more isolated. I get the impression he isn’t even looking for a new job.

Last week, he told me he’s thinking of taking the kids to Malta to spend Christmas with his family and friends. Of course, I don’t mind him visiting his family – even though he never bothered to do it very often in the past - and I think the children should see their grandparents more often. Bu I get an odd feeling that he might consider staying in Malta with the children. My colleagues told me it’s a very conservative and family-minded country. They think his family will be happy to hide him and the children if necessary. But what if I’m wrong and I refuse to let the children leave without any reason? He will consider that unfair and that might maybe push him further away from me. Right now I am the only thing that keeps him here. Can someone advise me what to do?"

4. When you want your child to live abroad with you

My employer offered me a great job opportunity in the Czech Republic. Because my daughter is living with me almost all the time since her father and I divorced, I found it important to discuss this with her and ask for her approval. She was very enthusiastic about the ide - she has always been a very curious and adventurous girl. Last month we spent an extended weekend in Prague and she was really exited.

Yesterday when her father brought Julie back after the Easter holidays he was furious. He told me I had no right to move Julie away from him, to a completely unknown country. e said that if I dared to do that he would start a procedure for child abduction against me. He had already contacted a lawyer.

I was completely surprised. He only has Julie one week at Christmas and one week at Easter and two weeks during the summer holidays. He never visits her in between and rarely calls.

So it would make no difference whatsoever for him if we moved. I wouldn’t ask him to pay for Julie´s travel expenses to come and visit her dad in France. They would spend exactly the same amount of time together as before. But he just keeps claiming that it´s illegal.

Can someone help me come to a reasonable agreement with him?




REGISTER: Annual Cross-Border Family Mediation Training (CBFM): 2 December 2021
This advanced training course aims to qualify practicing family mediators to mediate cross-border family disputes, including international child abduction, access and custody cases.

REGISTER: Cross-Border Family Mediation Training (CBFM): 13-19 September 2020 Berlin, Germany
50-hour advanced training course aims to qualify practicing family mediators to mediate crossborder family disputes, including international child abduction, access and custody cases. The course will cover the relevant legal aspects of international family conflicts, differences in national family legislation, the 1980 and 1996 Hague Conventions, the Brussels II bis Regulation as well as the best ...

Enhancing the Wellbeing of Children Before, During and After Legal Proceedings of International Child Abduction